officialunitedstates:

"What does the chef recommend?"

"Sir, this is a mcdonalds"

cknd:

Dogs probably think I am magical because rooms light up when I enter them.

proctalgia:

i love when dogs sigh. its like, hey bud, long day at the office?

circle-of-wolves:

calliestrider:

un-leash-ing:

egberts:

*goes to a party and awkwardly follows friend around the entire time*

*goes to a family reunion and awkwardly follows mom around the entire time*

*goes to hell and awkwardly follows satan the entire time*

Well that escalated quickly.

awwww-cute:

My older cat got sick of my kitten trying to play with him so he pinned him down and licked him until he fell asleep

harrystylesexposed:

"you can’t blame all white people for slavery" and you can’t blame all muslims for 9/11 but that don’t stop you

prekslut:

internet slang meanings:

  • smh: sorry me horny
  • wtf: want to frick?
  • tbh: touch boner, honey
  • lmao: lets masturbate all over
  • lol: lick on labia
  • omfg: obama may fuck golfers
  • rotfl: rub on tip faster, lady
  • wbu: wild boobies unleashed
  • fyi: fuck yeah incest
  • jw: juicy wang
  • yolo: you only love oral